Negative emotions are normal, we all experience them. There is certainly nothing wrong with them, unless of course we loose control in their grip, or they stick around too long. When either of those happen, they become distracting, debilitating, and damaging. Think about the last time you experienced strong negative emotions. Regardless of the specific…
This morning I’ve seen so many lovely 4th of July / Independence Day social media posts. Interestingly a big percentage of the posts share the themes of thanking our active service men and women, our veterans, and honoring those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in service to the United States of America. I so…
Internal struggles are tough because of the push and pull between intellectual, emotional, moral, and ethical considerations. Inside those are financial, relational, and even physical elements. They aren’t easy, that’s way we call them “struggles”, but dealing with them effectively, and sooner than later, usually saves us from unnecessary drama and negative consequences. I’m suffering with an…
Today I’ve been thinking about the human condition. Specifically, how we relate to each other interpersonally, and the consequences of our thoughts, words, and actions. In the last week, several situations have been shared with me (personal and professional) wherein manipulative, narcissistic, mean-spirited behaviors were described. In each case, the costs – time, financial, and…
What if your problems were really opportunities for growth? What if, rather than being damaging sources of angst, frustration, disconnection, and fear, your “problems” were actually opportunities to expand your capacity for awesome things like wisdom, creativity, patience, and connecting? The truth is, with a new perspective all of our problems can transform into meaningful…
A new client asked me a terrific question during lunch last week: “How do you win over someone who is resistant to you?” To which I replied: “I don’t know, have I started winning you over yet?” We laughed, but my responsive question was intended to be thought provoking. You see, a short time earlier,…
Today is Dr. Martin Luther King day. A day we remember and honor him for his peaceful and hope-filled approach to conflict resolution. His quote “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy” has resonated with…
Sometimes we mess-up. It happens. Today I want to emphasize the importance of a terrific save when mistakes occur. I’m calling it a “customer service save” because, at Pelot & Associates, our practice focuses on the workplace. However, these tips transfer beautifully to your personal life as well. One example: Last week I took my…
We all have triggers. today i have a surprising concept for why we can be easily triggered by the behavior of others. Let’s start with what I mean by “triggered”: Agitation, frustration, and anger are a few of the negative feelings associated with being triggered. They bubble up (or explode) when we bump into specific…
I nearly had a full-on temper tantrum the other night. For real, I thought I was going to explode all over everyone, and it was all because of some seriously unmet expectations. It was the fifth evening of a fabulous vacation: Beautiful resort, perfect weather, and lots of exciting fun combined with plenty of “chill”…
Have you ever felt stuck in the middle of workplace conflict? I don’t mean the one stirring the pot – that’s a topic for another day. I’m talking about being in a position where two people, in conflict, are “confiding” in you. Giving you their side of the story and justifying their positions and behaviors,…
One of my long-time mediation clients loves to argue and tease me about “just wanting everyone to agree about everything.” He usually begins the good-natured ribbing right about the time I offer-up an “Is it possible…” or “What if…” question, which is of course geared toward eventually reaching agreement. This client absolutely enjoys a hearty…