Angry arguments benefit no one. In fact, they are a great big waste of time. I’m sure you agree quick conflict resolution and productive discussions win over drawn-out battles any day. Obviously it takes time to participate in an angry argument, but also consider the time you waste re-hashing it, justifying it, and “strategizing” your next move in your head. And how about all those clever remarks you come up with – and wish you’d had the presence of mind to say but didn’t – as you relive the argument over and over in your mind. I won’t even go into what the ensuing productivity killing, energy sucking, series of events does to your health and well-being.
Allow me to be clear: Ugly disagreements have lasting ramifications on professional and personal relationships. Trust and respect are damaged, maybe even completely lost, and may never be restored. I bet you are thinking about a personal experience right now…
You might be surprised to learn the secret to diffusing every angry argument, and even preventing one from ever arising, is simple, works super-fast, and is completely reliable. Well it is, and here you go… Pay attention:
- Give the other person your full attention.
- Stop formulating points and being distracted by the voice in your head.
- Listen to what he is saying, and actively demonstrate you are listening.
- Tell him what you heard him say, and ask him if you heard him correctly.
- If you didn’t, ask for clarification and repeat.
That’s it folks! The simple act of listening, combined with demonstrating that you are will nearly always erase any need the other person feels to argue. Additionally, almost like magic, when you actively listen to others, they begin actively listening to you! Now, all of the sudden, you are engaged in a productive, respectful, two-way conversation. Bam! You have just created the opportunity for quick and easy conflict resolution. You’re welcome. 🙂
