Empathy. So Powerful But Often Misunderstood

We all know showing empathy is an important part of building effective relationships, right?  We’ve also all heard empathy is not the same as sympathy. Most of us even know it is a better interpersonal communication choice than sympathy.  But do we really know what empathy is, how to extend it, and perhaps more importantly…

Can’t Agree? 3 Tips to Turn Conflict Into Opportunity

One of my long-time mediation clients loves to argue and tease me about “just wanting everyone to agree about everything.” He usually begins the good-natured ribbing right about the time I offer-up an “Is it possible…” or “What if…” question, which is of course geared toward eventually reaching agreement. This client absolutely enjoys a hearty…

Free Yourself From Unnecessary Stress!

I love it when my clients share break-through moments!  I’m talking about realizations and actions that create a shift, releasing them from some of the stress they have been hanging onto unnecessarily. This week one of my most seriously talented clients shared a great one with me! For several months this client had been suffering…

One Bad Attitude Could Spoil The Whole Bunch

This is a true story about a bright, ambitious, twenty-three-year-old who started showing up to work every day with a bad attitude.  She’d sigh big, heavy sighs of exasperation, and wouldn’t speak to her coworkers – except the ones who would listen to her complain during lunch hour.  If she didn’t absolutely have to, this…

Mediation: Happy Ending or Sad Result?

“You know it was a good mediation if everyone leaves unhappy and you ended up settling somewhere in the middle.”  I’ve heard that sentiment often. In fact, I know colleagues who use it as part of their opening remarks during mediation. Sound good to you?  I hope not. I completely disagree with that sentiment.  As…

Self-Development: You’ll Be Glad You Did

Recently, I had a terrific discussion with a successful, respected, high-ranking organizational leader with the Department of Interior.  We were talking about his recipe for success, and what he looks for when considering the potential of others. A passion for self development made his list of top-three characteristics, when assessing an individual’s capacity for success…

Two Tips To Shift From Negative To Positive

Do you ever get negative and just wallow in it?  I’m talking about sitting in that space where it feels like everything and everyone pretty much sucks? Even you. I’m too tired. That’s not fair. She’s an idiot. They don’t like me. It’s your fault. This is too hard. That’s all wrong. It’s too hot….

Respect, Trust, and Value After June 12, 2016

I’ve been thinking a lot about respect, trust, and value this week.  I bet, in your own way, you have too.  The wake of violence and tragedy leaves us with thoughts we weren’t considering the day before…Even deciding whether to write about my thoughts has been a struggle. I know I don’t have words eloquent…

Joy or Anxiety? Tips for Navigating Change

  I found myself pondering the impact of change  yesterday, while heading home from the last graduation party of the season. I reflected on conversations with graduates, parents, friends and colleagues, about big and small changes, and how they felt as they navigated them. Sometimes strong feelings are fleeting; sometimes they last a lifetime. I…

Rage Building? These 5 Steps Will Calm You Down

Have you ever gotten angry at home? Me too! Rage Builds from time to time – even in conflict resolution specialists. Although I rarely experience external conflict, I am human and I have my moments! Here’s a recent example from my world: I’ve been ready to get rid of the circa 2000, bigger than two…

Shark or Turtle? What is your conflict style?

Can a turtle safely co-exist with a shark? What about a fox with a teddy bear? I say “Absolutely!” If they are aware of their own go-to conflict style, have a decent understanding of those around them, and realize they have options.  When it comes to conflict style, we all have dominate traits, but we…

Tips for being successful, when working with a disengaged boss

Your leader’s primary role is to be the strong base for your success support system, right?  I mean, the very definition of a leader is to engage and inspire, while achieving organizational goals through the efforts of the team.  So,what happens to you and your teammates when you have a disengaged boss? In my experience,…