Which comes first, driving for results or building relationships? Feel like a trick question? It is.
If you’re an executive or senior leader who knows for sure results come first, congratulations! You are in the majority. And I’m sorry to be the one to tell you – you have it backwards.
According to Gallup’s 2025 State of the Global Workplace, leaders account for 70% of variance in team engagement. Seventy percent! That means the single greatest factor in whether your direct reports are performing – or not – is you.
The same report found U.S. workforce engagement averages just 32%. This means 68% are psychologically disconnected from their workplace. Additionally, that disconnection directly correlates to the manager’s level of engagement.
True Story
Reviewing the most recent Gallup report, two recent conversations with new coaching clients came to mind.
As June approaches, both were feeling pressure to hit targets and frustrated by their teams for falling short.Both were also perplexed by apparent gaps in understanding, urgency, and accountability. “What am I missing? Why don’t they get it?” were their questions.
In each conversation, I had three important questions for them to explore:
- How do you know your direct reports are clear on their priorities, timelines, and expected benchmarks?
- What has gotten in the way of accomplishing them? How do you know?
- What support do they need from you to get on track?
Their responses were similar:
- I shared our goals in January and reviewed them in March. Now it’s May, and I’m not happy.
- They must not be working on the right things, or maybe I’ve got the wrong people in seats. (Worth noting: both of these are assumptions.)
- They haven’t asked me for anything.
All reasonable on the surface but, as the outside neutral observer, what I heard was actually “I don’t know.”
Their responses led naturally to conversations about the danger with assumptions…They are often incorrect.
Next, we explored their communication norms.
Both hold regular team meetings with routine agendas. Okay, so far so good.
Both leaders know their numbers well and assume their direct reports do too. Yet, initiatives had stalled.
As each shared their experiences, their business acumen was obvious, but neither had cultivated real relationships with their direct reports.
Time with their teams was mostly transactional – seeking “more, better, faster” without making the connections needed to actually get there.
Both leaders are smart, experienced, and decisive. They have also historically viewed relationship building as optional, time-consuming exercises.
“We aren’t here to sing kumbaya – we have a job to do.” True!
What’s also true is when teams miss the mark, there are tangible reasons. Which leader uncovers them fastest? The one who keeps a distance between him and his team or the one who has built trust and rapport within it?
100% of the time
Leaders who have great two-way communication and foster trusting relationships learn about, understand, and fix problems faster and more effectively than those who don’t.
This isn’t opinion. It’s what research and years of working with leaders consistently confirm.
Human-Centered Leadership Competencies are Required for Sustained Performance.
Leaders can drive results without putting effort into the human-centered competencies of leadership, for a while. But they burn themselves and their people out, as they navigate barriers like conflict, disengagement, information hoarding, fear, and costly mistakes.
What are Human-Centered Competencies?
Human-centered leadership competencies are what many – like the clients I mentioned – view as “soft” skills. Nice to have if time allows. (It never does.)
The irony is practicing these competencies doesn’t add to a leader’s plate, but ignoring them will.
Human-centered leadership competencies include: (Not in order of priority and none stand alone.)
Trust is the over-arching requirement for sustaining great performance. Each of the following is either building trust or eroding it on a day-to-day basis.
Communication
- Be honest and timely in your communication
- Stay present when present (virtual and in-person)
- Be genuinely curious before judging
- Listen more than you speak
- Communicate consistently (one on one and group)
- Continually connect the dots: goals – behaviors – outcomes
Accountability
- Establish clear roles, expectations, timelines, and measures of success – with a direct line of sight between individual contributions and organizational success
- Assure congruency between the above and performance discussions and ratings
- Model corporate and personal values
- Keep your commitments, big and small
- Accept responsibility readily, blame less
- Give credit generously
People Development
- Acknowledge successes, big and small
- Hold meaningful coaching conversations / encourage training and development follow through
- Build cross-functional partnerships
- Provide opportunities for growth and visibility
Emotional intelligence is the glue that binds each of these competencies. It is necessary for successful, cohesive execution.
In combination, these human-centered competencies maintain the rapport and trust required to achieve short-term KPIs and long-term goals. These are standards for behavior and they drive results.
Quick Start to Cultivating Human-Centered Leadership
It’s not too late to hit targets, but there’s little chance if you keep doing the same things and expect different results.
If you’ve left the human side of leadership unattended, start with these three steps:
- Establish quality face time with your team (one on one and as a group)
- Regularly ask, listen, then check for understanding:
- What’s the good news?
- What’s getting in the way?
- How can I help?
- Be congruent in your words and actions. (Follow through.)
The Wrap
Last week I left my two executive coaching clients with those three steps and a commitment to experiment with behaving differently.
Moving from assumptions to curiosity, and from transactions to relationships, consistently results in re-engaged teams, early issue detection, and goals that are met. Early wins will build momentum, and results will follow.
So, back to my original question: which comes first, driving performance or building relationships? You know the answer. Now go lead, with human-centered leadership competencies as your competitive advantage.
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Know a leader who may have stopped prioritizing the human-centered competencies needed to achieve great results? We encourage you to share this post!
Want more information on how to improve in human-centered competencies, reach out today. Let’s have a strategy discussion to get you started.
